As parents and coaches, we are given the gift of many days in our kids’ lives. If we’re lucky, those days add up to weeks, months, years and hopefully a lifetime. But have you ever boiled it down to a single moment? To refer to a past great ad campaign, a “Kodak Moment”? It’s a mental photographic image that lives forever…long after kids are grown.
I live for Golden Moments.
Yesterday, I had the misfortune to forget a Golden Moment in my child’s life. It wasn’t a conscious choice. It was human error. I’m a busy mom of three kids and a coach of hundreds. I also manage a family of five, each with conflicting life schedules. Sprinkle in three part-time jobs of coaching, teaching and writing…and it’s a crazy juggling act. Frankly, it’s a miracle more things don’t fall through the cracks.
My missed Golden Moment: My teenage daughter had her high school season-ending soccer banquet, where she was the JV team captain and won the Best Defender award. And I forgot. I wrote it down in my agenda, talked about it the night before…and proceeded to completely forget about it the day of the event.
She called me after the banquet started—crying and totally disappointed. I stopped what I was doing, raced home, and got her there 15 minutes before it ended. Her portion of the awards ceremony was over, along with her Golden Moment. I was heart-broken. It was a missed opportunity to be recognized for leadership skills and outstanding defensive play in front of her peers. Poof! It never happened.
I repeatedly apologized but I can’t turn back time and fix it. All I could do was hold her while she cried. The reality is there are just some life lessons that can’t be undone. Maybe she could have called me earlier, or maybe we should have talked about it that afternoon. It hurts, but we both have to move on.
However, today is a new day and a new thought…how can I learn from this and prevent it from happening again? Three ideas:
1- Slow down, do less. Some things are just not that important to fill up my days. It’s OK if the laundry sits in the dryer a little longer, the dishes don’t get immediately washed, and the house isn’t perfectly picked up. Make room for personal “Parent (mom/dad)” time ie…exercise, enjoy a hobby, or play with the kids.
2-Prioritize my “Daily To Do” lists. What do I really need to do today? Where do I want or need to go such as my daughter’s soccer banquet? What time? Learn that it’s OK to politely say, ”No” to family and friends if things don’t fit into my schedule.
3- Celebrate Golden Moments. Take time to recognize those precious Golden Moments with smiles, hugs, kisses, positive words, high fives, text messages, Facebook comments, emails or letters through snail mail.
So what is a Golden Moment? A Golden Moment could be when someone does a random act of kindness, aces a test, gets good grades, shows effort in school or sports, or displays great sportsmanship and leadership skills. It’s letting people know they did something extraordinary.
But the best Golden Moment? It’s the mental high five you give yourself–as a parent or a coach– for taking the time to make a difference.
